Saturday, April 28, 2012
Beach prep.
For my son,
I will stay up getting snacks ready.
For my son,
I will get up when I could be sleeping.
For my son,
I will go to the beach when I could be avoiding it.
For my son,
I will get my bathing suit out and put it on.
For my self,
I will cringe....
he he he he
Have a blessed day all! :)
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
10 years ago....
My boy turned 10 today. I began thinking of his birth last night. I remember dropping off my oldest at my friend's house, kissing him goodnight and praying we would get to the hospital quickly.....what I didn't know is that I am married to a man who does not think a woman in labor(clawing at the top of his car due to a contraction) is reason enough to run a red light on a deserted road. So we didn't get to the hospital quickly, but we did go safely and without a ticket ;) My husband was wonderful and caring. Such a great man.
I also remember the nurse that came and got me from the ER wanted to know if I had a sunburn since my legs were red and blotchy...he he he...nope, it was just the way my body chose to react to the stress of childbirth.
I remember pain. I remember trying to focus.....think of flowers.....visualize......think on Christ.....quote scripture(I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me was my mantra).....anything to get away from the intense pain radiating through my body. My nurse was a man....one of the best labor and delivery nurses I have ever had the priveledge to work with(so to speak). He was calm, kind, funny....what a great gift to have, the ability to calm or at least help calm a woman in labor.
And then the pain meds came. I knew from my first child that this had the ability to take the pain and stress away. It is quite lovely. Unfortunately it also sllllllooooooowwwwwws my labor down.
And then, while I am finally somewhat peaceful I feel suddenly nauseous.....and then throw up...not once or twice but so often that they finally gave me something else just to make it stop(it looked like a contraction on the moniter and the nurses were getting concerned).
So what I thought would be a short process turned into an allllll night affair.
Such was God's perfect timing. For you see my mom was on her way. She left and drove 6 hours straight(stopping once for gas) to the hospital. Had she come earlier in the evening she would have been the one caring for my oldest and missed the experience of his birth with us. What a long drive for her, I can only imagine. She arrived and stepped out of the room to call my dad to let him know what was going on. When she came back in.....low and behold they broke my water and my boy was born 20 minutes later!! HA, she didn't even know she would be in the room when he was born. I have often wondered what she was thinking when she came back in to see the baby was coming! I will have to ask.
I should have known this boy would prefer mornings....joining us about 7:30 am. He has always been my ONLY morning person. He prefers snuggles in the morning and time together first thing to time together before bed. Always has.
I also should have know after all that drama just to meet him he would be my drama kid too. :)
I have learned so much from him, laughed so much with him, cried so much for him, and prayed so much about him.
He is funny, witty, energetic, loyal(to a fault at times), handsome, has an amazing memory, loving, quick tempered, athletic, is learning to love reading, pushes boundaries, strong, loves to build, jumps in to anything new and interesting(no matter the consequences some times!), tries new things(not new foods but new things), compassionate, caring, sympathetic, generous, loves Jesus, creative, loves church, thinks outside the box, wears his heart on his sleeve, emotional, helpful, sweet, bright, smart.....the list could go on.
I will end this by saying this.....the boy I was blessed with 10 years ago has enriched my life in ways I still don't fully understand. He has caused me to lean on my Savior more and myself less. He has shown me how simply love can be and how easy giving really is. He has taught me, through the lessons I have had to teach him, about friendship, Christ, obedience...you name it. I would not be the follower of Christ I am today without having Jared in my life. Wow.....I will "say" it again...for my benefit(sorry just bear with me)....I would not be the follower of Christ I am today without having Jared in my life.
Praise my wonderful, marvelous Savior for His good and perfect gift...not that the child is perfect but that through this child we would both grow closer to the One who is perfect. My desire is that one day I also could impact others for Christ in this way! What's your desire?! Jump in with Christ!! Join the party! :)
I also remember the nurse that came and got me from the ER wanted to know if I had a sunburn since my legs were red and blotchy...he he he...nope, it was just the way my body chose to react to the stress of childbirth.
I remember pain. I remember trying to focus.....think of flowers.....visualize......think on Christ.....quote scripture(I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me was my mantra).....anything to get away from the intense pain radiating through my body. My nurse was a man....one of the best labor and delivery nurses I have ever had the priveledge to work with(so to speak). He was calm, kind, funny....what a great gift to have, the ability to calm or at least help calm a woman in labor.
And then the pain meds came. I knew from my first child that this had the ability to take the pain and stress away. It is quite lovely. Unfortunately it also sllllllooooooowwwwwws my labor down.
And then, while I am finally somewhat peaceful I feel suddenly nauseous.....and then throw up...not once or twice but so often that they finally gave me something else just to make it stop(it looked like a contraction on the moniter and the nurses were getting concerned).
So what I thought would be a short process turned into an allllll night affair.
Such was God's perfect timing. For you see my mom was on her way. She left and drove 6 hours straight(stopping once for gas) to the hospital. Had she come earlier in the evening she would have been the one caring for my oldest and missed the experience of his birth with us. What a long drive for her, I can only imagine. She arrived and stepped out of the room to call my dad to let him know what was going on. When she came back in.....low and behold they broke my water and my boy was born 20 minutes later!! HA, she didn't even know she would be in the room when he was born. I have often wondered what she was thinking when she came back in to see the baby was coming! I will have to ask.
I should have known this boy would prefer mornings....joining us about 7:30 am. He has always been my ONLY morning person. He prefers snuggles in the morning and time together first thing to time together before bed. Always has.
I also should have know after all that drama just to meet him he would be my drama kid too. :)
I have learned so much from him, laughed so much with him, cried so much for him, and prayed so much about him.
He is funny, witty, energetic, loyal(to a fault at times), handsome, has an amazing memory, loving, quick tempered, athletic, is learning to love reading, pushes boundaries, strong, loves to build, jumps in to anything new and interesting(no matter the consequences some times!), tries new things(not new foods but new things), compassionate, caring, sympathetic, generous, loves Jesus, creative, loves church, thinks outside the box, wears his heart on his sleeve, emotional, helpful, sweet, bright, smart.....the list could go on.
I will end this by saying this.....the boy I was blessed with 10 years ago has enriched my life in ways I still don't fully understand. He has caused me to lean on my Savior more and myself less. He has shown me how simply love can be and how easy giving really is. He has taught me, through the lessons I have had to teach him, about friendship, Christ, obedience...you name it. I would not be the follower of Christ I am today without having Jared in my life. Wow.....I will "say" it again...for my benefit(sorry just bear with me)....I would not be the follower of Christ I am today without having Jared in my life.
Monday, April 23, 2012
An Amazing Blessing
I am not sure if I am doing this right or not....but I just had to share an amazing gift. A friend posted a video of her sweet girl getting baptized and I couldn't help but share! So go there(as listed below) and be blessed to watch another child of the King and listen to her mom's ecstatic joyful laughter!
http://hmmm27.blogspot.com/
http://hmmm27.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Coolness!!
Of course I am often reminded of how good God is in my life but wanted to share with the one maybe two people that actually read this blog my exciting news!!
Today I was given a gift that is priceless.....after cleaning up lunch I told Jared he needed to get his math. I noticed it was quiet and wondered what he and his brother were doing. They were reading....on their own sitting in the playroom just reading. For my oldest this is nothing new. He LOVES to read, always has. But as we all know for my Jared this is a difficult thing and there he was book in hand totally engrossed in what is going on in the story!!! As he is getting up(reading and walking at the same time) he asks for five more minutes to read pleeeeeeeeease. Ummmm, yeah, thinking this is doable!!!
I asked if he would read me something and tell me what is going on(you know the nonchalant comprehension check) and he proceeds to read an entire page to me with only a couple of errors(and these are simply things he hasn't gone through yet with his tutor or trainer)!!!! He giggled at the funny stuff and everything!!!
PRAISE JESUS!!!!
This is awesome!!!!!
This is coolness!!!!
Today I was given a gift that is priceless.....after cleaning up lunch I told Jared he needed to get his math. I noticed it was quiet and wondered what he and his brother were doing. They were reading....on their own sitting in the playroom just reading. For my oldest this is nothing new. He LOVES to read, always has. But as we all know for my Jared this is a difficult thing and there he was book in hand totally engrossed in what is going on in the story!!! As he is getting up(reading and walking at the same time) he asks for five more minutes to read pleeeeeeeeease. Ummmm, yeah, thinking this is doable!!!
I asked if he would read me something and tell me what is going on(you know the nonchalant comprehension check) and he proceeds to read an entire page to me with only a couple of errors(and these are simply things he hasn't gone through yet with his tutor or trainer)!!!! He giggled at the funny stuff and everything!!!
PRAISE JESUS!!!!
This is awesome!!!!!
This is coolness!!!!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
To struggle
At times, I struggle. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy, of inability, and of incompetence. Why....because I am a human being that is flawed.
Tonight I am thankful for a Savior that was as human as me yet was not flawed in any way. I'm so very thankful that I have a Bible I am free to read and memorize and hold dear with no thoughts of my safety in such endeavor. I'm thankful for Him.
I'm thankful for my kids. I can laugh and cry all within an hour. They are marvelous beings!
Yep, I fail them....I fail Him...but His grace is sufficient and mercies are new every day. He teaches, we learn. He speaks, I listen.
I'm thankful for LearningRx and Ms. Sue our tutor. My boy is getting there. His writing is improving, his reading while still choppy is coming along.
I have described these weeks with Jared as possibly turning a corner....who knew the corner was to the worlds largest building with the worlds widest corners...he he he!
I am thankful for the ability to teach my kids. Every few months I allow this area to become a foothold in my life to begin to tear down the work the Lord has done in my life. I will even admit to looking around and (dare I say it) comparing my kids and my teaching style to the rest.....anyone know what happens when this is done?
Jesus tells the parable of the worker in the field. One started first thing in the morning for a set price. A few hours later another is hired...for the same price. A few hours later, yet another comes alongside to work....for the same price. This goes on and on. When the day is done there are some disgruntled workers. I don't even have to imagine what the conversation was because my kids have been in similar situations and voiced all the same frustrations. It's not fair, I worked longer/harder/better... (To read the actual words go to Matthew 20....the above paragraph is my own paraphrase.)Jesus responds with this:
13 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’
Matthew 20:13-15
When I compare what I have or do with that of my friend or acquaintance(or total stranger, the silliest of all since I know nothing of that person's story or life experiences) I forget His goodness. I look away from His brilliance. I tell Him that His goodness must not be enough or that His hands aren't strong enough to fix things(that one hurts to admit....much less type). I miss His blessing...like this breath...and this one...and...OK, sorry I was getting carried away. I move away from who He is molding me to be and ask for my dirty filthy rags back(if only for a moment) shrugging of the robes of righteousness He surrounded me with when I came to know Him as Savior.
The "why me" game is an ugly game and only the one that is out to destroy and devour us wins.
For only reasons Christ knows I am in this very spot at this very time to glorify Him through everything I do.
So, I am thankful that with this feeling of not being good enough comes the reminder that He is more than just good enough AND has given me the ability to do better....through Him.
I am thankful that my incompetence can only mean that His competence in EVERY area shines through and whatever I do well I only do well because of Him and His great love for me. I just need to seek Him.
I am thankful that my inability means His ability will lead me. He will call me to things I am not the best at and teach me, guide me, grow me, stretch me....change me. I need only to be still, listen, and know that He is God.
I will take this moment to revel in my humanness...but not because I like these feelings. Not because it pleases me to recognize my faults but because it allows me to point to Him. It reminds me that my worth is in Him(isn't that what I have been telling my kids for some time now....I can be slow you know ;) ), it can't be measured by this world nor should it be. The standards set before me by anyone other than Christ are not my goal.
With this I am off to read a bit and sleep. Praying whoever needed this reminder as much as I did will find it at just the right moment. Anything useful found within this blog is only because of my Best Friend who gives me the words. :) Have you met Him?
Tonight I am thankful for a Savior that was as human as me yet was not flawed in any way. I'm so very thankful that I have a Bible I am free to read and memorize and hold dear with no thoughts of my safety in such endeavor. I'm thankful for Him.
I'm thankful for my kids. I can laugh and cry all within an hour. They are marvelous beings!
Yep, I fail them....I fail Him...but His grace is sufficient and mercies are new every day. He teaches, we learn. He speaks, I listen.
I'm thankful for LearningRx and Ms. Sue our tutor. My boy is getting there. His writing is improving, his reading while still choppy is coming along.
I have described these weeks with Jared as possibly turning a corner....who knew the corner was to the worlds largest building with the worlds widest corners...he he he!
I am thankful for the ability to teach my kids. Every few months I allow this area to become a foothold in my life to begin to tear down the work the Lord has done in my life. I will even admit to looking around and (dare I say it) comparing my kids and my teaching style to the rest.....anyone know what happens when this is done?
Jesus tells the parable of the worker in the field. One started first thing in the morning for a set price. A few hours later another is hired...for the same price. A few hours later, yet another comes alongside to work....for the same price. This goes on and on. When the day is done there are some disgruntled workers. I don't even have to imagine what the conversation was because my kids have been in similar situations and voiced all the same frustrations. It's not fair, I worked longer/harder/better... (To read the actual words go to Matthew 20....the above paragraph is my own paraphrase.)Jesus responds with this:
13 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’
Matthew 20:13-15
When I compare what I have or do with that of my friend or acquaintance(or total stranger, the silliest of all since I know nothing of that person's story or life experiences) I forget His goodness. I look away from His brilliance. I tell Him that His goodness must not be enough or that His hands aren't strong enough to fix things(that one hurts to admit....much less type). I miss His blessing...like this breath...and this one...and...OK, sorry I was getting carried away. I move away from who He is molding me to be and ask for my dirty filthy rags back(if only for a moment) shrugging of the robes of righteousness He surrounded me with when I came to know Him as Savior.
The "why me" game is an ugly game and only the one that is out to destroy and devour us wins.
For only reasons Christ knows I am in this very spot at this very time to glorify Him through everything I do.
So, I am thankful that with this feeling of not being good enough comes the reminder that He is more than just good enough AND has given me the ability to do better....through Him.
I am thankful that my incompetence can only mean that His competence in EVERY area shines through and whatever I do well I only do well because of Him and His great love for me. I just need to seek Him.
I am thankful that my inability means His ability will lead me. He will call me to things I am not the best at and teach me, guide me, grow me, stretch me....change me. I need only to be still, listen, and know that He is God.
I will take this moment to revel in my humanness...but not because I like these feelings. Not because it pleases me to recognize my faults but because it allows me to point to Him. It reminds me that my worth is in Him(isn't that what I have been telling my kids for some time now....I can be slow you know ;) ), it can't be measured by this world nor should it be. The standards set before me by anyone other than Christ are not my goal.
With this I am off to read a bit and sleep. Praying whoever needed this reminder as much as I did will find it at just the right moment. Anything useful found within this blog is only because of my Best Friend who gives me the words. :) Have you met Him?
Some days I feel as though I am constantly correcting behavior. Constantly stepping in to frustrating situations. Constantly disciplining in hopes for internal changes to take place in my kids minds and hearts. And yet....it doesn't always happen like that.....
I have been dealing with my oldest son going through some growing up. He's not even a teenager, people!! How did he get to be almost as tall as me? How did he become a young man when just yesterday it seemed like he was a sweet little toddler? Oh my heart aches. Not because I don't like where he is now but because I know our time together, like it is now, is short. It gets shorter and shorter with each moment.
We have been talking about internal vs. external changes alot too. Noooooo, not the physical changes the body goes through...ha ha ha ha, that's not for a blog posting you know! ;) I mean the "I will act this way so I stay out of trouble" vs "I want to be this way to please Christ" stuff.
I have found myself saying...often...you have chosen a consequence for your actions but I know this is just external. The first time I said it I think the boys both looked at me like I was crazy. But the more we talked or the more I had to follow through with a consequence they got it. Kind of....
So my oldest told me today he would obey but only because he doesn't want the consequence. Maybe I should have been excited. Maybe I should have said "Wooo Hooo!" Maybe...but I wasn't. In fact, I was downright sad.
I looked at my sweet firstborn and all I could say/think was this: Your desire to obey should come from a deep longing to obey Christ. The desire to obey me shouldn't be because you don't want to get in trouble but because you desperately want to follow Christ!
Maybe he got it, maybe he didn't. I do know that this same message isn't just for him. It's for me...you...any Christ follower around. I want to obey out of a heart full of love and gratitude. I want to seek Him first. I want to be consumed by His love so much so that it exudes from my every pore! I want to follow Him!!
You are following someone every moment of your life...as am I....who will you follow and why? :)
I have been dealing with my oldest son going through some growing up. He's not even a teenager, people!! How did he get to be almost as tall as me? How did he become a young man when just yesterday it seemed like he was a sweet little toddler? Oh my heart aches. Not because I don't like where he is now but because I know our time together, like it is now, is short. It gets shorter and shorter with each moment.
We have been talking about internal vs. external changes alot too. Noooooo, not the physical changes the body goes through...ha ha ha ha, that's not for a blog posting you know! ;) I mean the "I will act this way so I stay out of trouble" vs "I want to be this way to please Christ" stuff.
I have found myself saying...often...you have chosen a consequence for your actions but I know this is just external. The first time I said it I think the boys both looked at me like I was crazy. But the more we talked or the more I had to follow through with a consequence they got it. Kind of....
So my oldest told me today he would obey but only because he doesn't want the consequence. Maybe I should have been excited. Maybe I should have said "Wooo Hooo!" Maybe...but I wasn't. In fact, I was downright sad.
I looked at my sweet firstborn and all I could say/think was this: Your desire to obey should come from a deep longing to obey Christ. The desire to obey me shouldn't be because you don't want to get in trouble but because you desperately want to follow Christ!
Maybe he got it, maybe he didn't. I do know that this same message isn't just for him. It's for me...you...any Christ follower around. I want to obey out of a heart full of love and gratitude. I want to seek Him first. I want to be consumed by His love so much so that it exudes from my every pore! I want to follow Him!!
You are following someone every moment of your life...as am I....who will you follow and why? :)
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